Wednesday, November 30, 2011
I Want to be a Flasher
Clearly, there are a lot of advantages to not being held to the societal defined expectations of wearing clothes in public. Very clearly. I can go whereever I wish and never have to worry about pants and whether or not I remembered to put them on. I just can't imagine the stress that would cause a person. However, there is a downside to the expectation that I be nude: I am unable to engage in the act of flashing. I would make a great flasher. I could really envision myself walking down the street on the end of my leash, wearing a non-descript tan trench coat, appearing distracted, and opening it up and freaking someone or something out. What an adrenaline rush that would be! I bet I could really freak out the neighborhood squirrels. I might send them all into therapy - if squirrel therapy exists as a recognized medical practice. However, I would not be completely nude under my trench coat. I would wear a tie - something striped perhaps - hanging from my neck. I like to stay classy and sophisticated at all times.