Two recent events seem to suggest that there may be a developing and somewhat unorthodox convergence of two previously (seemingly) unrelated interests of mine: Cured/Smoked Meats and Golf. First - last week at an event in Europe - a golfer was awarded his weight in ham for achieving a hole-in-one. Then - this past weekend - a (perhaps slightly altered) golf fan ran onto the green and threw a hot dog at Tiger Woods during the final round of a tournament. The hot dog assassin had this to say about his inspiration:
"I threw the hot dog toward Tiger Woods because I was inspired by the movie 'Drive,'" Kelly said. "As soon as the movie ended, I thought to myself, 'I have to do something courageous and epic. I have to throw a hot dog on the green in front of Tiger.'"
Courageous and epic, he said.
As an amateur conspiracy theorist, I have to think that these two events must be related. I have read extensively on the statistical correlation between cured/smoked meat and golf and most (if not all) evidence suggests that there is little to no mathematical likelihood of the two subjects intersecting without a conspired and carefully executed plot - most likely funded by a consortium that includes Titleist, Nike, and Oscar Meier. It's difficult not to think that there may be a commercial angle to these events.
I will continue to closely follow this storyline. I enjoy golf - though it is a bit hard for me to play. And I enjoy meat, because it is food and lots of it tends to get dropped from high chairs in my home. But I think that there may be inorganic forces here, artificially influencing this flirtation - and that troubles me. Of course, it also could be the work of Martians.
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