Getting my Tax Code On

I - Hoagie The Dog - am a CPA (Certified Public Accountant).  I earned this prestigious designation after completing the required paperwork and forms that were sent to me after responding to an add in the back of a Rolling Stone magazine.  And today, I am putting on my old-school accounting/bookkeeping visor and exercising my right to account.  Specifically, I will be initiating an official review (as sanctioned by me - Hoagie The Dog) of the US Tax Code.  With all of the talk about a 9-9-9 plan and the optional 20% flat tax, I feel that I need to brush up on the particulars of the drama that is contained in the Code before offering and opining on my official position.  Every 4 years, I am besieged with requests from various cable outlets to offer my opinion on tax reform and the economic and political ramifications of such adjustments.  I prefer to be in the upper right corner in the quadrant style panel discussion - as my advisor suggests that the upper right corner implies a position of authority.  The usual 4 people on the panel are Alan Greenspan, Donald Trump, Warren Buffet, and me - Hoagie The Dog.  I go way back with the other panelists, so the discussion is usually pretty friendly, but passionate nonetheless.  Alan Greenspan and I used to go to professional wrestling matches together.  He was a big fan of Capt. Lou Albano (not an accountant) for whatever reason.  I do not know if the admiration was mutual.  Which brings me back to my original point - the tax code review.  I intend to complete my review within 7 business days.  Do not expect to hear any of my official stances until I complete my full review.  You will have to wait patiently.  Keep your composure.  Do not fret.  My review is coming soon.